If you have decided to pursue a divorce, there is a lot to do to get it accomplished. It may take a year or longer to get all of it done and all of the agreements settled. You will need a dissolution of marriage lawyer- a family lawyer who specializes in divorce. Then, you will have to pursue the divorce legally. This comes with a lot of paperwork and the filing of the paperwork with the court. Then, there is a court hearing to decide whether the divorce is granted. If your state is a no-fault state, virtually all divorces are granted.
There may be some court divorce papers online, depending on your jurisdiction, but court papers are usually to be filled out and sent to your lawyer. There is generally a court filing fee for divorce. Often, the hardest part of a divorce is simply dealing with marriage separation. Even if a relationship was not a good one, it will usually make both parties sad for a time. It may be in your best interest to seek out a licensed counselor to talk to about the situation. Over time, you will begin to feel better about your new situation.
What is prompting such unprecedented and dramatic changes in the Chinese relationship market? The simple answer is that the statistics prove that women are no longer held back by the restraints of “traditional Chinese culture” – the sort of things traditional Chinese were taught in our schools.
“If you really want to – if you really want to break it off, we have a stipulation here, you can’t do it because of family, but can you fight a divorce, yes,” state-run media quoted a 24-year-old Chinese woman named Wang Xiaodong, from Jiangxi Province, as telling her father. “One month later, the woman was divorced.”
Wang’s father, Qin Xiaodong, himself a man of very traditional values, noted: “Guess what? There is no such thing as an ideal family anymore. Will you, can you get divorced easier nowadays? Yes.”
Another woman who spoke to the media as an experiment to see if we could change the stigma between men and women renounced her husband for living alone and dating other women.
“He should be accountable for his actions,” she said, according to a translated report in the People’s Daily.
The parents of a woman with schizophrenia couldn’t accept their daughter no longer being under the care of their son. Without the parents’ consent, the woman’s sister and the government arranged for her to be put in a mental hospital for the stress of dealing with marriage separation. In recent years, Chinese authorities have cracked down on extramarital affairs, banning dating sites and having people’s social media profiles wiped after they admit to having affairs online.
The Chinese government has yet to step in to address the rising divorce rate — or the perhaps even more pressing question: Is single life better for women and, in the process, for China? Because, as Catherine Bainbridge writes in the Daily Beast, a large fraction of women still find it desirable to be tied down, away from common divorce terms — often to the detriment of themselves and those around them.
According to new statistics from the Ministry of Civil Affairs in China, divorce rates have increased in that country for the 12th year in a row, with a 3.9% spike from last year. 2014 saw a total of 3.6 million divorced couples across China, even more than the 2.1 million documented U.S. marriages in the same year, According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Experts are attributing the rising Chinese divorce rate to a surge in female empowerment, which makes sense, considering two thirds of all divorce filings are made by women. Take, for example, Xiao Mei, 26, who only made it six months into her marriage before visiting Beijing’s Municipal Civil Affairs Bureau to apply for a divorce.
Xiao recalls, “The first time we went to the bureau, we were taken to a room where a staff member persuaded us not to make a hasty decision, so we went home. The second time we stepped into the building, my husband ran away. But I am still tired of the endless quarrels and cold war. We may finally divorce when the next fight comes.”
“The rise of the divorce rate showed that more women began to defend their rights to equality, which marks social progress,” commented Peng Xiaohui, a professor of sexology at the Central China Normal University. Divorce has long been stigmatized in China as representing failure, but it appears that attitudes are changing.
According to a marriage registrar in Jiangsu, “people regarded divorce as something humiliating… Now couples view marriage differently from their parents and they do not think that divorce is a bad choice.”
China isn’t the only place where women are taking back their power, with or without an attorney. Mainstream U.S. pop culture has seen a spike in celebrity divorces, from Khloe Kardashian’s split from Lamar Odom to Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck ending their 10 year nuptials.
Hopefully, they’ll all be better off.
Compiling 50 years of marriage statistics shows us that divorce happens frequently. When asked about what percentage of marriages end in divorce, most people think 50% in the United States, and they’re right. In China it’s 40% but that number could continue to grow. Worldwide it’s 41% of first marriages and 60% of second. Overall, second marriages have a higher rate of divorce frequency. People divorce for many reasons, but an amicable separation with children involved is always a good idea. In China, where a two child-policy is in effect, most marriages are ended by the women, with or without children. Having children can make divorce messier. It’s not like you can just divorce and go your separate ways. You connected for life through the children you have had together. That’s why it’s suggested to receive advice on coping with divorce from divorce attorneys themselves or another trusted source before you even file. Knowing what to expect and how to react to various situations will make your divorce that much easier, especially if you have children.
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